What The Jorge? » Blog Archive

Nachos, Tacos and Burritos...

A foreigner walks into a bar he's carrying a bag of cow manure, a shotgun, and a dead cat. He sits down at the bar an orders a drink, drinks the drink, loads the shotgun, shoots the bag, and takes a bite of the dead cat. He does this about 4 or 5 more times until the bartender finnally asks, "Wat the hell are you doing?" the foreigner says "I want to be like you Americans, I want to shoot the sh*t and eat pussy!"

Apr

My New Truck

Posted by Jorge | Posted in Funny, General | Posted on 16-04-2008

Got me a new truck! I bought a new FORD F350 DUAL TURBO DIESEL, and returned to the dealer yesterday because I couldn’t get the radio to work.

The salesman explained that the radio was voice activated.

“Nelson,” the salesman said to the radio. The radio replied, “Ricky or Willie?”

“Willie!” he continued, and “On The Road Again” came from the speakers.

Then he said, “Ray Charles!”, and in an instant “Georgia On My Mind” replaced Willie Nelson.

I drove away happy, and for the next few days, every time I’d say, “Beethoven,” I’d get beautiful classical music, and if I said, “Beatles,” I’d get one of their awesome songs.

Yesterday, some guy ran a red light and nearly creamed my new truck, but I swerved in time to avoid them.

I yelled, “Ass Holes!”

Immediately the Iranian National Anthem began to play, sung by Jane Fonda and Barbara Streisand, backed up by Michael Moore and The Dixie Chicks, with John Kerry on guitar, Al Gore on drums, Dan Rather on harmonica, Nancy Pelosi on tambourine, Harry Reid on spoons, Bill Clinton on sax and Ted Kennedy On Scotch.