Nachos, Tacos and Burritos...

A foreigner walks into a bar he's carrying a bag of cow manure, a shotgun, and a dead cat. He sits down at the bar an orders a drink, drinks the drink, loads the shotgun, shoots the bag, and takes a bite of the dead cat. He does this about 4 or 5 more times until the bartender finnally asks, "Wat the hell are you doing?" the foreigner says "I want to be like you Americans, I want to shoot the sh*t and eat pussy!"

What The Jorge? Rss

If Hilary Is President, What Would Bill Be?

Posted by Jorge | Posted in General, Political | Posted on 06-03-2008

Hilary & Bill Clinton

I was listening to my local radio station the other day and Hilary Clinton had called in. This was legit because we’re in Ohio; she was campaigning here to win the primary vote for here in Ohio and Texas. Not to mention, it did sound like her, she has a distinctive voice.

I actually enjoyed listening to it. I did vote absentee and it was for an unnamed Republican candidate, but after listening to her talk on the radio, it almost humanized her in my eyes. These DJ’s were not helping the situation either with their questions. It wasn’t serious, political themed questions. They were humorous questions like “If you get elected President, do we call you Madame President?” She laughed so hard when she heard this question.

If I would of herd this interview before I sent in my absentee ballot, I probably would have seriously reconsidered my vote. I don’t ever pay attention to those stupid commercials that end with “I’m [insert candidates name here,] and I approve this message. I’m so tired of seeing Barack Obama commercials, I don’t say I dislike the guy, but it’s just like watching the same movie over and over again, you get tired of it.

My only seriously curious question is: If Hilary Clinton was elected president, what would that make Bill Clinton? We surely couldn’t call him “First Lady” Or could we?

Political Music To My Ears

Posted by Jorge | Posted in Funny, General, Political | Posted on 14-02-2008

One sunny day in 2008, an old man approached the White House from across Pennsylvania Avenue, where he’d been sitting on a park bench.

He spoke to the Marine standing guard and said, “I would like to go in and meet with President Hillary Clinton.”

The Marine replied, “Sir, Mrs. Clinton is not the President and doesn’t reside here.”

The old man said, “Okay,” and walked away.

The following day, the same man approached the White House and said to the same Marine, “I would like to go in and meet with President Hillary Clinton”.

The Marine again told the man, “Sir, as I said yesterday, Mrs. Clinton is not the President and doesn’t reside here.”
The man thanked him and again walked away . . .

The third day, the same man approached the White House and spoke to the very same Marine, saying “I would like to go in and meet with President Hillary Clinton.”

The Marine, understandably agitated at this point, looked at the man and Said, “Sir, this is the third day in a row you have been here asking to speak to Mrs. Clinton. I’ve told you already several times that Mrs. Clinton is not the President and doesn’t reside here. Don’t you understand?”

The old man answered, “Oh, I understand you fine, I just love hearing your answer!”

The Marine snapped to attention, saluted, and said, “See you tomorrow.”

“Thank me, I voted for Clinton-Gore.” NOT!

Posted by Jorge | Posted in General, Political | Posted on 13-02-2008

Dear Mr. Ex President Clinton :

I recently saw a bumper sticker that said, “Thank me, I voted for Clinton-Gore.” So, I sat down and reflected on that, and I am sending my “Thank you” for what you have done, specifically:

1. Thank you for introducing us to Jennifer Flowers, Paula Jones , Monica Lewinsky , Dolly Kyle Browning, Kathleen Willey, and Juanita Broderick. Did I leave anyone out?

2. Thank you for teaching my 8 year old about oral sex. I had really planned to wait until he was a little older to discuss it with him, but now he knows more about it than I did as a senior in college.

3. Thank you for showing us that sexual harassment in the work place (especially the White House) and on the job is OK, and all you have to know is what the meaning of “is” is. It really is great to know that certain sexual acts are not sex, and one person may have sex while the other one does NOT have sex.

4. Thank you for reintroducing the concept of impeachment to a new generation and demonstrating that the ridiculous plot of the movie “Wag the Dog” could be plausible after all.

5. Thanks for making Jimmy Carter look competent, Gerald Ford look graceful, Richard Nixon look honest, Lyndon Johnson look truthful, and John Kennedy look moral.

6. Thank you for the 73 House and Senate witnesses who have pled the 5th Amendment and 17 witnesses who have fled the country to avoid testifying about Democratic campaign fund raising

7. Thank you, for the 19 charges, 8 convictions, and 4 imprisonment’s from the Whitewater “mess” and the 55 criminal charges and 32 criminal convictions (so far) in the other ” Clinton ” scandals.

8. Thanks also for reducing our military by half, “gutting” much of our foreign policy, and flying all over the world on “vacations” carefully disguised as necessary trips.

9. Thank you, also, for “finding” millions of dollars (I really didn’t need it in the first place, and I can’t think of a more deserving group of recipients for my hard-earned tax dollars) for all of your globe-trotting. I understand you, the family and your cronies have logged in more time aboard Air Force One than any other admi nistration.

10. Now that you’ve left the White House, thanks for the 140 pardons of convicted felons and indicted felons-in-exile. We will love to have them rejoin society. (Not to mention the scores you pardoned while Governor of Arkansas)

11. Thanks also for removing the White House silverware. I’m sure that Laura Bush didn’t like the pattern anyway. Also, enjoy the housewarming gifts you’ve received from your “friends.”

12. Thanks to you and your staff in the West Wing of the White House for vandalizing and destroying government property on the way out. I also appreciate removing all of that excess weight (China , silverware, linen, towels, ash trays, soap, pens, magnetic compass, flight manuals, etc.) out of Air Force 1. The weight savings means burning less fuel, thus less tax dollars spent on jet fuel. Thank you!

13. And finally, please ensure that Hillary enjoys the $8 million dollar advance for her “tell-all” book and you, Bill, the $10 million advance for your memoirs. Who says crime doesn’t pay!

14. The last and most important point - thank you for forcing Israel to let Mohammed Atta go free. Terrorist pilot Mohammed Atta blew up a bus in Israel in 1986. The Israelis captured, tried and imprisoned him. As part of the Oslo agreement with the Palestinians in 1993, Israel had to agree to release so-calle d ” political prisoners”. However, the Israelis would not release any with blood on their hands. The American President at the time, Bill Clinton , and his Secretary of State, Warren Christopher , “insisted” that all prisoners be released. Thus Mohammed Atta was freed and eventually thanked the US by flying an airplane into Tower One of the World Trade Center . This was reported by many of the American TV networks at the time that the terrorists were first identified. It was censored in the US from all later reports. Why shouldn’t Americans know the real truth?

What a guy!!

If you agree that th e Am erican public must be made aware of these facts, pass this on. God bless America and THANK YOU (once again) for spending my taxes so wisely and frugally.

SINCERELY,

A US Citizen
PS. Please pass along a special thank you to Al Gore for “inventing” the Internet, without which I would not be able to send this wonderful, factual e-mail.

AND THE REST OF THE STORY Hillary Rodham Clinton, as a New York State Senator, now comes under the “Congressional Retirement and Staffing Plan,” which means that even if she never gets reelected, she STILL receives her Congression al salary until she dies. (Would it not be nice if all Americans were pension eligible after only 4 years?)

If Bill outlives her, he then inherits HER salary until HE dies. He is already getting his Presidential salary until he dies. If Hillary outlives Bill, she also gets HIS salary until she dies. Guess who pays for that?

WE DO!

It’s common knowledge that in order for her to establish NY residency, they purchased a million dollar-plus house in upscale Chappaqua , New York Makes sense. They are entitled to Secret Service protection for life. Still makes sense.

Here is where it becomes interesting. Their mortgage payments hover at around $10,000 per month BUT, an extra residence HAD to be built within the acreage to house the Secret Service agents.

The Clintons charge the Federal government $10,000 monthly rent for the use of that extra residence, which is just about equal to their mortgage payment. This means that we, the taxpayers, are paying the Clinton ’s salary, mortgage, transportation, safety and security, as well as the salaries for their 12 man staff — and, this is all perfectly legal!

Source: Unknown

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