How ironic is this ??
They don’t even believe in Christ and they’re getting their own Christmas stamp, but don’t dream of posting the ten commandments on federal property?
USPS New Stamp
Tag Archive for 'political'
A young man married a beautiful woman who had previously divorced 10 husbands. On their wedding night, she told her new husband to ‘Please be gentle; I’m still a virgin’.
‘What?’ said the puzzled groom. ‘How can that be if you’ve been married ten times.?’
‘Well, husband#1 was a Wine of the Month Sales Representative; he kept telling me how great it was going to be.
‘Husband # 2 was in Software Services; he was never really sure how it was supposed to function;
but he said he’d look into it and get back with me.
‘Husband # 3 was from Field Services; he said that everything checked out diagnostically but he
just couldn’t get the system up.
‘Husband # 4 was in Telemarketing; even though he knew he had the order, he didn’t know when he would be able to deliver.
‘Husband # 5 was an Engineer, he understood the basic process but he wanted three years to research, implement, and design a new state of the-art method.
‘Husband #6 was from Administration; he thought he knew how but he wasn’t sure whether it was his job or not.
‘Husband # 7 was in Marketing; although he had a product, he was never sure how to position it.
‘Husband # 8 was a Psychiatrist; all he did was talk about it.
‘Husband # 9 was a Gynecologist; all he did was look at it.
‘Husband # 10 was a Stamp Collector; all he ever did was…….. God I miss him.
‘But now that I’ve married you, I’m so excited’.
‘Wonderful’, said the husband, ‘but why?
‘You’re with the ‘GOVERNMENT’…This time I KNOW I’M gonna get SCREWED.’
Got me a new truck! I bought a new FORD F350 DUAL TURBO DIESEL, and returned to the dealer yesterday because I couldn’t get the radio to work.
The salesman explained that the radio was voice activated.
“Nelson,” the salesman said to the radio. The radio replied, “Ricky or Willie?”
“Willie!” he continued, and “On The Road Again” came from the speakers.
Then he said, “Ray Charles!”, and in an instant “Georgia On My Mind” replaced Willie Nelson.
I drove away happy, and for the next few days, every time I’d say, “Beethoven,” I’d get beautiful classical music, and if I said, “Beatles,” I’d get one of their awesome songs.
Yesterday, some guy ran a red light and nearly creamed my new truck, but I swerved in time to avoid them.
I yelled, “Ass Holes!”
Immediately the Iranian National Anthem began to play, sung by Jane Fonda and Barbara Streisand, backed up by Michael Moore and The Dixie Chicks, with John Kerry on guitar, Al Gore on drums, Dan Rather on harmonica, Nancy Pelosi on tambourine, Harry Reid on spoons, Bill Clinton on sax and Ted Kennedy On Scotch.
I LOVE THIS TRUCK!
I was listening to my local radio station the other day and Hilary Clinton had called in. This was legit because we’re in Ohio; she was campaigning here to win the primary vote for here in Ohio and Texas. Not to mention, it did sound like her, she has a distinctive voice.
I actually enjoyed listening to it. I did vote absentee and it was for an unnamed Republican candidate, but after listening to her talk on the radio, it almost humanized her in my eyes. These DJ’s were not helping the situation either with their questions. It wasn’t serious, political themed questions. They were humorous questions like “If you get elected President, do we call you Madame President?” She laughed so hard when she heard this question.
If I would of herd this interview before I sent in my absentee ballot, I probably would have seriously reconsidered my vote. I don’t ever pay attention to those stupid commercials that end with “I’m [insert candidates name here,] and I approve this message. I’m so tired of seeing Barack Obama commercials, I don’t say I dislike the guy, but it’s just like watching the same movie over and over again, you get tired of it.
My only seriously curious question is: If Hilary Clinton was elected president, what would that make Bill Clinton? We surely couldn’t call him “First Lady” Or could we?
I bought a bird feeder. I hung it on my back porch and filled it with seed.
Within a week we had hundreds of birds taking advantage of the continuous flow of free and easily accessible food.
But then the birds started building nests in the boards of the patio, above the table, and next to the barbecue.
Then came the poop. It was everywhere: on the patio tile, the chairs, the table . . . everywhere.
Then some of the birds turned mean: they would dive bomb me and try to peck me even though I had fed them out of my own pocket.
And others birds were boisterous and loud: they sat on the feeder and squawked and screamed at all hours of the day and night and demanded that I fill it when it got low on food.
After a while, I couldn’t even sit on my own back porch anymore.
I took down the bird feeder and in three days the birds were gone.
I cleaned up their mess and took down the many nests they had built all over the patio.
Soon, the back yard was like it used to be . . quiet, serene and no one demanding their rights to a free meal.
Now let’s see . . . our government gives out free food, subsidized housing, free medical care, free education and allows anyone born here to be an automatic citizen.
Then the illegals came by the millions.
Suddenly our taxes went up to pay for free services; small apartments are housing 5 families; you have to wait 6 hours to be seen by an emergency room doctor; your child’s 2nd grade class is behind other schools because over half the class doesn’t speak English; Corn Flakes now come in a bilingual box; I have to press “one” to hear my bank talk to me in English, and people waving flags other than “Old Glory” are squawking and screaming in the streets, demanding more rights and free liberties.
Maybe it’s time for the government to take down the bird feeder . . .
Article Source: Unknown
One sunny day in 2008, an old man approached the White House from across Pennsylvania Avenue, where he’d been sitting on a park bench.
He spoke to the Marine standing guard and said, “I would like to go in and meet with President Hillary Clinton.”
The Marine replied, “Sir, Mrs. Clinton is not the President and doesn’t reside here.”
The old man said, “Okay,” and walked away.
The following day, the same man approached the White House and said to the same Marine, “I would like to go in and meet with President Hillary Clinton”.
The Marine again told the man, “Sir, as I said yesterday, Mrs. Clinton is not the President and doesn’t reside here.”
The man thanked him and again walked away . . .
The third day, the same man approached the White House and spoke to the very same Marine, saying “I would like to go in and meet with President Hillary Clinton.”
The Marine, understandably agitated at this point, looked at the man and Said, “Sir, this is the third day in a row you have been here asking to speak to Mrs. Clinton. I’ve told you already several times that Mrs. Clinton is not the President and doesn’t reside here. Don’t you understand?”
The old man answered, “Oh, I understand you fine, I just love hearing your answer!”
The Marine snapped to attention, saluted, and said, “See you tomorrow.”
Dear Mr. Ex President Clinton :
I recently saw a bumper sticker that said, “Thank me, I voted for Clinton-Gore.” So, I sat down and reflected on that, and I am sending my “Thank you” for what you have done, specifically:
1. Thank you for introducing us to Jennifer Flowers, Paula Jones , Monica Lewinsky , Dolly Kyle Browning, Kathleen Willey, and Juanita Broderick. Did I leave anyone out?
2. Thank you for teaching my 8 year old about oral sex. I had really planned to wait until he was a little older to discuss it with him, but now he knows more about it than I did as a senior in college.
3. Thank you for showing us that sexual harassment in the work place (especially the White House) and on the job is OK, and all you have to know is what the meaning of “is” is. It really is great to know that certain sexual acts are not sex, and one person may have sex while the other one does NOT have sex.
4. Thank you for reintroducing the concept of impeachment to a new generation and demonstrating that the ridiculous plot of the movie “Wag the Dog” could be plausible after all.
5. Thanks for making Jimmy Carter look competent, Gerald Ford look graceful, Richard Nixon look honest, Lyndon Johnson look truthful, and John Kennedy look moral.
6. Thank you for the 73 House and Senate witnesses who have pled the 5th Amendment and 17 witnesses who have fled the country to avoid testifying about Democratic campaign fund raising
7. Thank you, for the 19 charges, 8 convictions, and 4 imprisonment’s from the Whitewater “mess” and the 55 criminal charges and 32 criminal convictions (so far) in the other ” Clinton ” scandals.
8. Thanks also for reducing our military by half, “gutting” much of our foreign policy, and flying all over the world on “vacations” carefully disguised as necessary trips.
9. Thank you, also, for “finding” millions of dollars (I really didn’t need it in the first place, and I can’t think of a more deserving group of recipients for my hard-earned tax dollars) for all of your globe-trotting. I understand you, the family and your cronies have logged in more time aboard Air Force One than any other admi nistration.
10. Now that you’ve left the White House, thanks for the 140 pardons of convicted felons and indicted felons-in-exile. We will love to have them rejoin society. (Not to mention the scores you pardoned while Governor of Arkansas)
11. Thanks also for removing the White House silverware. I’m sure that Laura Bush didn’t like the pattern anyway. Also, enjoy the housewarming gifts you’ve received from your “friends.”
12. Thanks to you and your staff in the West Wing of the White House for vandalizing and destroying government property on the way out. I also appreciate removing all of that excess weight (China , silverware, linen, towels, ash trays, soap, pens, magnetic compass, flight manuals, etc.) out of Air Force 1. The weight savings means burning less fuel, thus less tax dollars spent on jet fuel. Thank you!
13. And finally, please ensure that Hillary enjoys the $8 million dollar advance for her “tell-all” book and you, Bill, the $10 million advance for your memoirs. Who says crime doesn’t pay!
14. The last and most important point - thank you for forcing Israel to let Mohammed Atta go free. Terrorist pilot Mohammed Atta blew up a bus in Israel in 1986. The Israelis captured, tried and imprisoned him. As part of the Oslo agreement with the Palestinians in 1993, Israel had to agree to release so-calle d ” political prisoners”. However, the Israelis would not release any with blood on their hands. The American President at the time, Bill Clinton , and his Secretary of State, Warren Christopher , “insisted” that all prisoners be released. Thus Mohammed Atta was freed and eventually thanked the US by flying an airplane into Tower One of the World Trade Center . This was reported by many of the American TV networks at the time that the terrorists were first identified. It was censored in the US from all later reports. Why shouldn’t Americans know the real truth?
What a guy!!
If you agree that th e Am erican public must be made aware of these facts, pass this on. God bless America and THANK YOU (once again) for spending my taxes so wisely and frugally.
SINCERELY,
A US Citizen
PS. Please pass along a special thank you to Al Gore for “inventing” the Internet, without which I would not be able to send this wonderful, factual e-mail.
AND THE REST OF THE STORY Hillary Rodham Clinton, as a New York State Senator, now comes under the “Congressional Retirement and Staffing Plan,” which means that even if she never gets reelected, she STILL receives her Congression al salary until she dies. (Would it not be nice if all Americans were pension eligible after only 4 years?)
If Bill outlives her, he then inherits HER salary until HE dies. He is already getting his Presidential salary until he dies. If Hillary outlives Bill, she also gets HIS salary until she dies. Guess who pays for that?
WE DO!
It’s common knowledge that in order for her to establish NY residency, they purchased a million dollar-plus house in upscale Chappaqua , New York Makes sense. They are entitled to Secret Service protection for life. Still makes sense.
Here is where it becomes interesting. Their mortgage payments hover at around $10,000 per month BUT, an extra residence HAD to be built within the acreage to house the Secret Service agents.
The Clintons charge the Federal government $10,000 monthly rent for the use of that extra residence, which is just about equal to their mortgage payment. This means that we, the taxpayers, are paying the Clinton ’s salary, mortgage, transportation, safety and security, as well as the salaries for their 12 man staff — and, this is all perfectly legal!
Source: Unknown
This is a subject close to my heart. Do you know that we have adult students at the school where I teach who are not US citizens and who get the PELL grant, which is a federal grant (no pay back required) plus other federal grants to go to school? One student from the Dominican Republic told me that she didn’t want me to find a job for her after she finished my program, because she was getting housing from our housing department and she was getting PELL grant which paid for her total tuition and books, plus money left over.
She was looking into WAIT which gives students a CREDIT CARD for gas to come to school, and into CARIBE which is a special program for immigrants and it pays for child care and all sorts of needs while they go to school or training. The one student I just mentioned told me she was not going to be a US citizen because she plans to return to the Dominican Republic someday and that she ‘loves HER country.’ I asked her if she felt guilty taking what the US is giving her and then not even bothering to become a citizen and she told me that it doesn’t bother her, because that is what the money is there for!
I asked the CARIBE administration about their program and if you ARE a US citizen, you don’t qualify for their program. And all the while, I am working a full day, my son-in- law works more than 60 hours a week, and everyone in my family works and pays for our education.
Something is wrong here. Right?
I am sorry but after hearing they want to sing the National Anthem in Spanish - enough is enough. Nowhere did they sing it in Italian, Polish, Irish (Celtic), German or any other language because of immigration. It was written by Francis Scott Key and should be sung word for word the way it was written. The news broadcasts even gave the translation — not even close. Sorry if this offends anyone but this is MY COUNTRY - IF IT IS YOUR COUNTRY SPEAK UP — please pass this along. I am not against immigration — just come through like everyone else. Get a sponsor; have a place to lay your head; have a job; pay your taxes, live by the rules AND LEARN THE LANGUAGE as all other immigrants have in the past — and GOD BLESS AMERICA!
Source: Unknown
Like a lot of folks in this state, I have a job. I work, they pay me. I pay my taxes and the government distributes my taxes as it sees fit. In order to get that paycheck, I am required to pass a random urine test with which I have no problem. What I DO have a problem with is the distribution of my taxes to people who DON’T have to pass a urine test. Shouldn’t one have to pass a urine test to get a welfare check because I have to pass one to earn it for them?
Please understand, I have no problem with helping people get back on their feet. I Do, on the other hand, have a problem with helping someone sitting on their ASS, doing drugs, while I work.
Can you imagine how much money the state would save if people had to pass a urine test to get a public assistance check ?
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